Marriage

"You will never truly know someone until you marry them. You can only hope that your marriage will uncover the beauty within your spouse’s soul instead of lies and deceptions"

that's what my friend posted as status on facebook. short but meaningful it somehow makes me think. virtually wipe the dust on part of my brain that love is not a must in marriage.

think, if we end up with someone without love. logically, putting our responsibility towards our spouse. we could fall in love after marriage and live on together till, well one of us dies.

love is not a must I must say. cause we don't even know the meaning of love. what is love? some said that people often fall in love for someone beautiful, but if you love someone, she's the most beautiful angle ever exist, right? let me just tell you that interested in someone is not the same as fall in love with someone. there's a big difference.

plus, how many of us fall in love couple of times. and each of the time, in love so deep that we said stuff like, "my only one" "you are my soul" "I'm gonna marry you" and end up marrying someone else, have kids and live eternally together

I don't know about you guys, but going through the same phase several times is disgusting. saying it all over again to different people just helps in fading the meaning from the word "love" away.

Once, I in a relationship. Doesn't end well, that is fine by me. But seeing her having a new one less than a month of our disastrous break up , blown my mind.

It makes me think, what happen to all those promise she made? well I still keep on holding to mine. but her's?maybe there is a clause in every promise made.  the clause maybe sound something like this "this promise will only be applicable as long as we are together" 

6 years has gone and I still haven't found someone. my parents keep asking if I have any and I keep on giving lame excuses that I doesn't even have a job how am I suppose to have one.

Deep inside, yeah currently I'm unemployed living my life using my parent's money doesn't make me worthy of having someone. but still the desire to have someone is still there maybe just a tiny miny dot deep inside a well sealed box in the bottom of my heart.

My journey to find one haven't been encouraging. I met someone, well lot of em actually, try to get know them, only to know that their true side which is opposite to whom I thought their could be.

Still, my twitter seems deceiving. suggesting that I already have one as all of my friends assumed. well the truth is I have none.

I'm hoping that I will find someone and get married. Fall in love after that and my responsibility as a husband will guide me throughout the life I hope I will end up living.

p/s: this post may suggest that I haven't moved on from my previous relationship.but I have with ease. it is just when you don't have someone you'll get lonely. period.