85 days to go

85 days to go
How I hope time moves super fast
And the moment I open my eyes
She's my wife

But these 85 days
I don't want to miss any moment with her
So the only thing to do is
Live and appreciate every details
Enjoying it so I won't realize how long it would be

The funny this is
Everytime I am with her
Time moves super fast
Maybe I should be with her 247
♡

How time flies
I still remembered everything
The moment I saw her angelic smile
The moment we went to the haunted house
The moment I stand in front of a bus so she won't miss it
The time I bought her food at night
The time I took her out
The time I took her to Bukit Ampang

Now it's only 85 days left for us to be husband and wife
My dream would come true
To have someone in my life
Someone I dreamed of all my life
Someone I never thought of having
Someone I thought I never encounter

She's here. She will always be
I will love her and thats for eternally
I will fall in love once
And she's the one I fall in love with

I wish I could bring happiness in her life
Love her with all my heart, that's my promise
I wish I could be forever with her
Marrying her that's what I'll do

It's all started the moment I saw her smile
Knowing shes in a relationship
Doesn't hinder me from making my move
I add her on fb and took her number

Occasionally , I will have lunch with her
Or maybe bought dinner for her
Text sometimes but we never did go out together
I remembered I told her that I want to check out a girl
Just to watch her playing netball everyday

Started my internship, we rarely keep in touch
She's busy with her studies and me with my job
The only time we text is when she asked me about internship
Then, She started her internship in KL
That gives me if tiny bit of hope

I intend to ask her out but been busy with my work
But one day she told me she's depressed
Without thinking twice, i drove to her place after work
Took her to bukit ampang to see the lights in the night

I still remembered the smile on her face that night
I felt like everything else vanished
Hypnotized by her angelic smile ♡

We started using 'saya awak'
but she keep on changing it to 'aku kau'
To be honest I tought it was a sign of 'I'm your friend'
Determined, if I could make you happy by just being friend
Then I would :)

Our 2nd date, we go out for dinner
Heading back home, we got lost
Not because I don't know the way
It's just due to road closure

We talk a lot that night
And she told me she are not really sure when I'm serious
Cause I've been making jokes about everything
I told her if she wanted to know something, just ask

She ask me straight to my face
Did you love me?
I'm surprised, the angel I've been waiting for
Asked me question that I wanted to ask her
But don't have the courage to

Without a shadow of a doubt, I answered yes
She asked me love her as what and why
I told her I love you for no reason at all so no one can took it away
She smiled, I mean we both smiled

I'm lucky to have someone I love but I never think of having, loves me back
In my eyes she's unlike any other
Unique in her own way

The more I found out about her
The more I fall in love with her
The more I felt that this is the one
The more I enjoyed my life with her by my side

Thanks for everything you've done for me. Above all, thanks for asking me that question and let me feel what love is :* ♡

Us on our first date 

Us on our college annual dinner

Bidadari ratu pemaisuri. hidup ku dialah penyeri. :)

Jika bidadari ku tahu

Semua yang ku laku

Adalah untuk masa depan yang ku ingin tuju

Pasti dia mengerti semua yang berlaku

Tapi ku yakin apa yang ku tahu

Dia akan menjadi isteri ku

Akan ku usaha sehabis daya ku

Agar isteri ku adalah kamu

Andai diberikan pilihan semua pemaisuri dunia

Dikau tetap pilihan ku

Di mata ku di hati ku cuma dikaulah ratu

Tiada yang merupai mu

Langsung menandingi mu

Aku cintakan kamu adalah ungkapan

Yang bermakna bagi ku tiap kali ku lafazkan

Kerana itu yang ku rasa dalam hati ku

Setiap saat hidup ku

Doa ku setiap solat ku

Agar dijodohkan ku dengan mu

Aku akan jatuh cinta sekali dalam hidup ku dan itu utk kamu

Bidadari ku adalah kamu atau kamu

Jiwa nyawa dikaulah segala

Bersabar tolak ansur memikir diriku lebih dari diri mu

Aku hargai setiap detik bersamu

Kerna dikaulah udara ku

Punca ku hidup adalah kamu ♡

happy for you

Congrats to my love, after 6 months of torturing Internship. Youre free. After you redo few parts in your report that is.

I admit, listening to everything you told me, sometimes i do feel like want to hold you tight. I dont want you to go through all that alone. I'm here and i'm here to stay. Forever. So if you want to go anywhere, take me along, i will always be by your side.

But if we didnt go through this 6 months together, we wont be like we are now. So in love together. We've been through some rough and good time together. Its nice to know that you would do what i do for you cause you love me like i love you.

"I treasure your happiness more than mine, i do. All i want to see is the smile on your face, when youre happy. I am too"

" I was searching for someone back then, that i forgot to look to those who are always there all along. So i stop for a moment, i saw her smile and i never look back since. She is the one ♡ "

is this love

I never really knew what love was
Once I had a gf back in high school
But things are very different back then
That was the time I barely know any other girl

So instead of holding to thing I aint sure myself
I let her go
2 weeks after that she is going out with another guy
Well that somehow make me a little bit relief
At least I'm right

I went to matriculation then to University
Met with a lot of girl and I do mean a lot
But none of them gives me the feeling I've been searching
I know I disappoint quite a few
But I'm searching for something
What's the point of having if ain't enjoying

Plus I have this idea
Of having one, not gf but someone
It's different, someone means the one you hold dearly
The one you want to spend the rest of your life with

After got my degree, I got my first job
Earning my own money
The timing was perfect for me to have someone

Then she came into my life
It's funny cause we been friend for almost 3 years
After we been together
We came to realize we spent a lot of time together
Back in university

The haunted house, the walk in the afternoon
The lunch we had, the time I bought her dinner
All the thing she told me back then
She's quite surprise that the fact
She told me quite a lot about herself
:)

Me? I noticed her smile back then
The reason why I want to get to know her
She's interesting but knowing where I came from
I decided to just be friend

Everything changed now
She's the one that captured me
Gives me this endless happiness
Gives me the chance to know what is the meaning of love

I warned her how I will be when I'm in love
She said ok but it took some time for her
To really get to know me
It's ok we have the whole life to know each other
right?
We gonna spend our whole life together

I don't really know what's gonna happen next
But what I'm sure that I found mine
Will try and work anything out to be with her
I'm sure she feels the same
I never this sure in my life

It came down to that
Its whether I'm with her or no one at all

Thanks love
♡

I will always love you for who you are, for who you were before, and for who you will be

takdir ilahi

Jangan pernah kau takutkan aku, aku bukan raksasa
aku cuma insan biasa.
yang janjikan bulan pada kau sama seperti dia,
cuma aku tersiksa,

tapi kau percayakan dia, walau dia dusta,
bulan di tangan ku utk mu, tapi kau terus dengar dia bercerita,
aku cuma untuk hadir tapi kau tetap buta,

aku genggam bulan itu, biar menjadi abu,
harapan ku telah lebur menjadi debu,

hari2 seterusnya, aku sudah jauh di barat,
tapi tiap hari aku masih terdengar masih terlihat
kau dan dia, hati ku terus menjadi berat,

takdir ku rasa, ku jatuh ke dalam gua,
bersendirian kembali mengumpul sisa,
berjumpa asas-asas aku hidup sebagai manusia,
bukan sebab kau?tapi kenapa aku tidak rasa

akhirnya aku berdiri
bulan di sisi
bukan kau aku ketahui
tapi di sisi ku kini takdir ilahi

aku rindu kamu, kau rakan,kau adik, keluarga ku semasa di U

dulu aku menekan mu
sampai hidup mu tak menentu
kita bergaduh menghalakan buku lima
tapi sekarang?aku rindu

pemergian mu aku terkedu
tangisan ku?tidak berlagu
pesan mu?menguatkan tanggapanku
ku menyiksa mu dan ku tak mampu
untuk meminta maaf kepada mu
sebelum kau pergi meninggalkan ku

kali terakhir kita bertemu
aku ingin meninggalkan U
kita berpeluk berjabat tangan adat melayu
bersangka akan bertemu kembali, tapi kita tidak tahu

kau mengejut mengemparkan rakan mu
kau pergi tanpa ada tanda walaupun satu
kami semua terkejut kalau tidak sedih itu menipu
rindu tapi apa kami mampu?

prespective

We are not the same
Each individual have their own traits
When we look at something
We look it at different view
Cause we all have our own prespective

For instance my friend
Who look to a bangladesh who walks into tesco barefooted
They want to buy a pair of sandals
Cause they aint have one

Me?i look it and oh they want to buy a sandals
Probably lose it after terawih
My friend?look and think a lot
What do they eat for break fast?
Me?i dont think too deep

But i do think a lot
When i got my first pay cheque
Happy?i hope but i am not
Looking at it at the ATM
Calculating everything that i need to pay
Left me with none at the end of the month
If this is life of an adult
I would just like to be a kid
Worry about nothing
And live happily

Its like a robot work very hard
And have none
Work hard only to live
Not enjoying it

Guess what?i think the homeless
Know the meaning of life
More than we
The robots who work their buts off
And end up with none

Marriage

"You will never truly know someone until you marry them. You can only hope that your marriage will uncover the beauty within your spouse’s soul instead of lies and deceptions"

that's what my friend posted as status on facebook. short but meaningful it somehow makes me think. virtually wipe the dust on part of my brain that love is not a must in marriage.

think, if we end up with someone without love. logically, putting our responsibility towards our spouse. we could fall in love after marriage and live on together till, well one of us dies.

love is not a must I must say. cause we don't even know the meaning of love. what is love? some said that people often fall in love for someone beautiful, but if you love someone, she's the most beautiful angle ever exist, right? let me just tell you that interested in someone is not the same as fall in love with someone. there's a big difference.

plus, how many of us fall in love couple of times. and each of the time, in love so deep that we said stuff like, "my only one" "you are my soul" "I'm gonna marry you" and end up marrying someone else, have kids and live eternally together

I don't know about you guys, but going through the same phase several times is disgusting. saying it all over again to different people just helps in fading the meaning from the word "love" away.

Once, I in a relationship. Doesn't end well, that is fine by me. But seeing her having a new one less than a month of our disastrous break up , blown my mind.

It makes me think, what happen to all those promise she made? well I still keep on holding to mine. but her's?maybe there is a clause in every promise made.  the clause maybe sound something like this "this promise will only be applicable as long as we are together" 

6 years has gone and I still haven't found someone. my parents keep asking if I have any and I keep on giving lame excuses that I doesn't even have a job how am I suppose to have one.

Deep inside, yeah currently I'm unemployed living my life using my parent's money doesn't make me worthy of having someone. but still the desire to have someone is still there maybe just a tiny miny dot deep inside a well sealed box in the bottom of my heart.

My journey to find one haven't been encouraging. I met someone, well lot of em actually, try to get know them, only to know that their true side which is opposite to whom I thought their could be.

Still, my twitter seems deceiving. suggesting that I already have one as all of my friends assumed. well the truth is I have none.

I'm hoping that I will find someone and get married. Fall in love after that and my responsibility as a husband will guide me throughout the life I hope I will end up living.

p/s: this post may suggest that I haven't moved on from my previous relationship.but I have with ease. it is just when you don't have someone you'll get lonely. period.